The Soldier Before Winter : Bucky
by LucindaVictoria
Summary: Back in the days before the war, Young Bucky Barnes met a woman who threw his world upside down. The years since have been a blur, He'd almost forgotten about the woman who'd stolen his heart; now he was face to face with his own nightmares. Would his past come back to haunt him or Will love finally conquer all?
1. Prologue: December

_**December, 1942.**_

 _[Evelynn]_

The air outside was icy, it clung to my chest as I walked into the main hall.

The sound of music and laughter burst into life as I opened the door, I took a few seconds to glance around the room gathering my new surroundings. I'd never been to this base before, my father had recently been registered to join the war against Hydra. We'd heard for so long of the horrors that had been happening in the far away countries, now we were joining the fight to end this terrorism.

I made my way to the buffet table, it was littered with sandwiches and various baked goods brought by the women who owned our dance hall. Food was short these days, but they put on such a fantastic spread. There were pitchers of water and fresh juice, with a perfectly lined up set of glasses before it. I smiled to myself, helping myself to a few pieces onto a plate before I walked away. My shoulder caught against another, knocking me unstable; I lost my balance but composed myself with the help of a nearby table.

'' I am so sorry, Miss. Are you okay?'' A voice broke me from my instability, I looked up to see a pair of distinctive brown eyes peering down at me; I was much shorter than the man. His hair was combed and he wore a perfectly pressed military suit. I straightened my back, and nodded.

'' Yes, I-I'm fine.'' I finally stammered. He was handsome, broad shouldered and polite. His voice was as soft as butter, and his smile made my heart skip. He nodded, flashing me another smile almost knocking me off my feet once more. '' Could I have this dance?'' He cocked his eyebrow, a half smile on his lips as he offered me his hand; the music changed to a slower style and I gladly accepted his hand. I placed the plate on the table before he could guide me towards the dance floor. As we stood on the wooden floor, his hand rested on my waist pulling me closer causing a rush of butterflies to dive around in my stomach. My palm rested upon his shoulder as he lead us against the dancefloor, I looked up into his eyes; they peered down at me. My heart was hammering against my chest so fast, that the music that filled the room seemed to drown out. I couldn't focus on anything else but him and his dark eyes.

He left me completely breathless.

The stranger guided me across the dance floor as if we were in a dream. He kept his eyes on me, yet still, he knew exactly where to lead me, knew where to hold me,. Every moment, every angle seemed to be planned in advanced. Nothing felt forced; I thought I was floating on air.

"Everybody is looking at us.." I whispered, slightly embarrassed by the attention.

He squeezed my hand slightly and smiled. "Really," he chuckled softly, "I haven't notice."

With that, I knew. He need not say more. My heart, my whole being was now his and his alone.

Nothing else seemed to matter anymore; I allowed him to take me anywhere he pleased on this dance floor. He went right, I went right. He sped up, I sped up. We became one with the song, with the dance and with each other.

'' What's your name?'' I questioned.

'' It's Bucky.'' He laughed, He gave my hand a quick squeeze maintaining our waltz across the floor without missing a step.

'' Bucky?'' I cocked an eyebrow, gazing up at him. '' Is that short for something?''

He nodded, smiling once more. '' What's your name?''

'' Evelynn.''

After what felt like an eternity in his arms, He lead me outside. The cold air hit me hard and I shuddered out a breath, He slowly took off his olive-green jacket and draped it over my shoulders. I offered a silent thank you as I enveloped myself in the warmth, He leaned against the fence panelling that surrounded the building; following his gaze I caught him admiring the moon in the sky above us. The stars lit the darkness us, just enough to forget where we were for a little longer.

I heard a growl of frustration beside me, it shook me from my thoughts. I felt a palm on my cheek as I stepped back, a strong arm caught my balance. I gasped with surprise as Bucky's face came into few, I looked up at him and took a deep breath. He straightened me up, as his thumb caressed my cheek gently.

'' Forgive me..'' He muttered under his breath before he moved close to me, pressing his lips to mine with a gentle yet forceful kiss. I allowed my eyes to fall shut as I hooked my arm around his neck gently, pressing my lips back to his. We spent a few moments in each other's arms, His forehead rested against mine and his dark eyes gazed into mine fondly. I let a small sigh of contentment escape, as my nose nudged past his.

'' May I walk you home?'' He moved away from you, offering his arm to me which I accepted.

We began to walk along in silence, my young mind was a race with inappropriate thoughts; I caught myself looking up at him occasionally. There was a certain harshness to Bucky, as if he were a person not to underestimate. At this very moment, nothing else seemed to matter; I wondered if it was was possible that I was falling in love with a man I barely knew?

We arrived at my door, I brushed the jacket from my shoulders and held it in front of me. I stepped up onto the few steps leading to my door, He placed one foot on the step I stood upon and gazed up at me.I offered him the jacket, He took it from my hands and pulled me in close again; my breath was stuck in my throat and I couldn't seem to catch it. His lips pressed against mine gently, my eyes slipped shut as I lost myself in the moment. My chest was pressed flush against his as he enveloped his arms around me, the kiss became more urgent and headed; I lifted my hands to tangle my fingers in his short hair. He gasped against my lips before he pulled back, his voice was low and husky; I wondered what he was thinking. Bucky looked down at me, his chest was against mine and I could feel his breath had become more laboured than previous. I guided one hand down his chest, followed by the other; I loosened the knot in his tie and looked up at him with a ghost of a smile on my lips.

'' Evelynn.. '' He whispered, I broke him off him another kiss before I turned to open the door behind me. I took his hand in mine and lead him inside, nudging the door shut behind me before we walked towards my bedroom. With a simple flick of a switch, my room brightened up; Bucky stood in the doorway as I walked inside, shutting the curtains around the room. I walked back over to him, he stood with his hands by his sides. My hands returned to loosen his tie; the knot fell apart in my hand I caught the fabric in my hand. I kept it in my grip as I began to gently unbutton his shirt revealing his chest to me slowly. He took a deep intake of breath and looked at me, his eyes were shut.

'' I want to..'' I whispered in return, he nodded; lowering his head to press his lips back to mine. His shirt fell open and I brushed it off his shoulders, holding it in my hand before he stepped forward, pushing me back towards the bed. He moved away, taking his shirt and tie from my hands, he draped them over the chair in the corner of my room. I stood beside the bed, watching as he walked to me; his hand reached behind my back, unzipping my dress and watched it drop to the floor, his eyes casted over my body as I stood in my underwear; he admired every contour of my curvaceous body.

He stepped closer to me and kissed me once more.


	2. Chapter 1: Unanswered

**Present Day**

[Bucky]

I shot up out of bed, my heart was hammering aggressively against my chest so fast that I could catch my breath. These dreams had hit me like a freight train recently, I couldn't get the images out of my head. I raised my metal hand to drag it through my matted hair before I crashed back on my mattress, shutting my eyes to try to erase the image of a woman I didn't even recognize stripping my clothes. I couldn't place her face, yet it felt real. My skin still burnt where she'd touched me, her face seemed so out of place in my mind that it was driving me insane just thinking about it.

I stepped off the bed, walking around my bedroom in my sweats. I threw on a shirt before I shoved my feet into my trainers and walked out the door. My brow was furrowed with frustration, I hadn't even noticed Stark as I stormed passed him; my hands slammed open the side door and I stepped into the sunlight. My eyes shut tight before I pushed forward and broke out into a steady jog, I could hear the faintest sound of her sweet voice in my ear causing me to stop and looking around with a frustrated groan. I looked around, I let my eyes scan over the treeline but I failed to see anything out of place; there was nobody here just myself and my own hallucinations. I pushed forward once more, picking up the pace and jogged around SHIELD with ease; My breath was heavy in my lungs yet I continued to push a little further. As I returned to the doors, I noticed Stark rubbing his shoulder. I could see the yellow skin forming on his arm and I silently cursed myself.

I looked around, I let my eyes scan over the treeline but I failed to see anything out of place; there was nobody here just myself and my own hallucinations. I pushed forward once more, picking up the pace and jogged around SHIELD with ease; My breath was heavy in my lungs yet I continued to push a little further. As I returned to the doors, I noticed Stark rubbing his shoulder. I could see the yellow skin forming on his arm and I silently cursed myself.

'' Well, Here's the one armed assassin!'' Stark teased me, I rolled my eyes before whipping my forehead with my arm. He furrowed his brow, noticing my change in mannerisms. I faintly smiled, shoving my hands into my pockets before I walked passed. I made a mental note to apologise when I was in a better frame of mind. I returned back to my room in seconds, slamming the door shut as I walked into the bathroom, turning the shower on full; the room still filled with steam. I rested my palms on the edge of the sink, staring at my reflection in the fogged mirror; my face was once again covered in a thin layer of sweat. I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water hit my naked body soothing my aching muscles and lulling me out of reality. As I hit the water off, I stepped out and wrapped a white towel around my face; my hair lay damp on my face as I looked towards the door, I saw the figure of a woman stood in one of my shirts; her hair was in two victory rolls and her face was stripped of makeup, nothing but a warm smile caressed her lips. Her head leaned against the doorframe as she sighed softly. I recognised her as the girl from my dreams, I could feel the aggression building up inside me like fire.

''What do you want from me!?'' I screamed into the steam filled bathroom, as the steam cleared; I noticed the room was empty as it always has been. I scrunched my eyes shut in disbelief, storming into my bedroom and dried myself off. I was losing my damn mind. I heard the mutter of voices outside of my door, the faintest tapping on my door snapped me back to focus; I ascended towards the door, pulling it open. Steve stood with his arms folded, his brow was knitted together.

'' You okay, bud?'' He spoke, I stepped out the way and he entered my bedroom.

I nodded silently, glancing around the hall to notice Thor turning the corner with his partner, Helena. I quickly shut my door realising I was exactly dressed to receive visitors. Steve peered around the bathroom before he checked in the wardrobe, I couldn't help but laugh to myself quietly; shaking my head. I had to admire his protective side since I'd returned, We'd been friends since the military days and I don't know where I'd be without him sometimes. I dreaded to think. He leaned on the wall, staring at me. '' Heard you shout..'' He confessed, I scratched the back of my head with my metal hand; shrugging my shoulders. '' Not sleeping good, Nightmares and all.'' I brushed off the comment, I didn't really know how to admit that I was dreaming about the same woman repeatedly. He gave me a half smile before he left the room, shutting the door tightly behind him; I busied myself getting dressed. I threw on a pair of black combats, my boots and an off-white t-shirt; I let my hair dry natural.

I needed answers, But I wasn't sure where to find them anymore.


	3. Chapter 2: Caution

_**Present Day**_

 ** _[Steve]_**

I scratched the back of my head closing the door to Bucky's room quietly behind me, my brows knitted together as I walked down the hallway. I could hear the faint sound of an old record spinning in the lounge, it bought back memories of the 40's; the dances in halls and the girls with rolls in their hairs and the soldiers singing to the big bands and trying to impress a lady before he was deployed to war. I hummed quietly as the voice of Vera Lynn was heard from the record player. Thor has his arm draped over the back of the couch, I noticed the woman with dark pixie cut hair sat beside him; I recognized her instantly as Helena. Thor teased his fingers through her short hair, he mumbled along to the words that poured through the speakers; his expression was warm and passionate towards the woman. She flipped absentmindedly through a stack of paperwork that was rested on her lap in a brown file. I watched as he pressed a kiss to her temple, Helena let out a smile of contentment . I cleared my throat and both turned to face me.

'' Oh, Sorry.'' Helena moved away from Thor, she flushed pink with shame but I shrugged it off. Thor and Helena had grown inseparable in the last few months, given any free moment they'd be together. They'd listen to old records, reminisce about the old days - By that I mean, She could literally talk about laundry detergent and Thor would still look at her with those big doe eyes and fall further in love with her. Helena busied herself gathering up her paper into a neat pile before she replaced them in her folder. I furrowed my brow as I noticed the word ' confidential' stamped in thick, red ink across the brown card.

'' Dreams again?'' Thor queried, I mumbled a yes before sitting in the armchair beside them rubbing my hand over my face in frustration. '' He won't talk to me, Thor. I've heard him waking up in a panic each night for the last month, He keeps shouting for someone called Evelynn in his sleep-'' Helena dropped her folder to the floor, both me and Thor stared at her in shock to make sure she was okay; she muttered something under breath and reached down the grasp the folder in her palms faster than me and Thor could blink. A half smile rose on her lips, she shrugged it off as her clumsiness; Thor spurred me on to talk, We all feared the worst when it came to Bucky. Thor's brow furrowed in confusion, He must have felt as lost as I was. '' Who?'' He spoke, Helena's knuckles were white from the grip on her folder; his gaze hadn't left her hands since she dropped the papers. She stood up to leave, his hands rested on hers and she jumped slightly. '' Are you okay, Darling?'' Thor rose slightly off the couch, she rested a hand on his shoulder to settle him once more giving him a gentle push before she whispered her excuses to leave the room for a few moments.

'' I don't know, but something's not right.'' I admitted, I feared the worst. I always feared the worst when it came to Bucky, I'd lost him once and I'd be damned if I lost him again. Thor excused himself, leaving the room to find Helena; I stared out of the window just as the rain began to pour and the record skipped to another song.

 ** _[Helena]_**

I rushed down the corridor of SHIELD, I prayed that Thor wouldn't follow but I knew his gentlemanly mannerisms would naturally kick in and he'd find me eventually. I could hear footsteps behind me, and I stopped by the door leading outside; my car was less than a few feet away. I could run, but this would eventually find me. It was only a matter of time.

''Helena?'' Thor's voice boomed behind me, I shut my eyes tight before forcing a smile and turned to face him; his face was confused and I wasn't sure how I could explain this to him. I placed my fingers to my lips, gesturing for Thor to be silent; he naturally obliged and then I gestured him towards my car. With a large firm hand, Thor nudged the door open and escorted me to the car; Myself and him hurried into the car before the rain fell heavy and hard. The sound of the drops slamming against my window screen were enough to drown out any conversation that could potentially be overheard. I didn't need this to get more complicated than it already was. I paused to take a deep breath, fishing my car keys from my purse before starting the ignition and speeding into the distance. We drove in silence, Thor fiddled with the stereo whilst occasionally glancing over at me; I white-knuckle gripped the steering wheel keeping my focus on the water-glossed road before me. How was I going to explain this? The moment Steve mentioned Evelynn, My heart stopped. It was a name I knew too well, and my closely guarded secret. I promised to take it to my grave, but now I was unsure I could keep my promises.

Thor's voice tugged me back to reality, I couldn't quite hear what he said. I noticed a clearing in the trees that surrounded SHIELD and pulled in, hitting my hazard lights before I killed the engine. I took a deep breath, turning to look at him. '' Evelynn Rose.'' I whispered, He raised an eyebrow. '' Excuse me?'' His voice was quiet, he glanced out the window. Perhaps he was checking for people passing by us. '' Evelynn Rose Phillips, Born January 9th 1927 to Chester Phillips and his wife who died during Childbirth. She was raised on a military base somewhere in North America until her father was promoted to General.-'' I recited from memory, my heart was hammering against my chest. I couldn't see clearly anymore, the world was cloudy around me and I felt locked in. I threw open the car door, swinging my legs outside and dipped my head down to catch my breath. As I peered over my shoulder, Thor was looking at me. His hand brushed up and down my spine to sooth me, I couldn't speak; We sat in silence for what felt like eternity. I lowered my head between my knees, taking in deep breaths of air as my chest became tight, I could feel the words burning up in my throat but I just couldn't seem to arrange them into a sentence. Thor broke the silence once more, his voice was crisp and assertive.

''Helena, What did Bucky to Evelynn?'' He rested his hand on my shoulder, I took in a deep breath bringing myself up to face him. My face was flushed red, and my mouth was dry. I could only imagine my voice sounded more hoarse than usual.

'' He fell in love with her. ''


End file.
